Admission to Accountability & What “HE” Sees

PART I: Admission to Accountability

So where have I gotten in 4 weeks?

I have been more religious about exercise averaging 3 days a week.

I have tried to have a more positive attitude about my body.

I have also made zero progress on my goal, I was down two pounds and now I am up those two plus three more. Yes I spent the weekend feeding my emotions. Full of Monday morning conviction, it’s Tuesday and I had pizza for lunch after deciding that skipping breakfast was acceptable, when I know it’s the key to a failure of a day.

So the one thought that keeps crossing my mind is this “You dumbass you know how to fix this, and why are you punishing yourself by doing the things you know don’t work for you!” The answer is simple, I didn’t want to spend money on accountability. But at this stage I am weak, I need the support of other people who are struggling just as much as I am, I need someone to tell me that losing .2# is a success.

So Saturday I will head back to sign up and then attend local meetings at Weight Watchers, there is one near work that just makes my lunch hour. I will lean on those who more than know the life long battle with weight, the obsession of the scale, how easily we are soothed by something in our mouths, and will I be successful. I believe I will.

PART II: What “HE” sees

 

This past year I have made it a goal to learn how men view women, surprisingly if we (meaning women) saw ourselves through our SO’s eyes, our opinion of ourselves would be far greater.

This is what he sees (200#)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This was a gift to my husband for Christmas, having a talented sister who takes photographs and an agreement for not exchanging gifts I thought this perhaps would be a suitable middle ground. What he sees is the woman who gave her body up to fertility treatment, two babies in less than three years. He sees soft curves and supple skin, legs that support the weight of a family, a back strong enough to lug groceries in and out and in and out, hands that work in the yard pulling stumps, and then can go in and sew a blanket or decorate a cake.

“HE” doesn’t see that my middle isn’t as tone as it used to be, that my calves regardless of how much weight I lose will still be full and muscular, that my arms are that of my Grandmother’s (thanks Nanna again for them), hips that are broad and will never permit wearing skinny anything.

He sees past all that and sees me, a woman who is never happy with how she looks and still tells me I am beautiful, gorgeous in fact.

So maybe if we all just looked at ourselves with the eyes of the person we love, we might just love ourselves a little bit more.

29 days down 336 to go

-5 # down 57 to go

 

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