This week I had a moment where my loss in inches and body re-shape was confirmed when I had to put on pantyhose. Now you’re reading this thinking, “What in the hell do pantyhose have to do with anything?” Any person who has ever taken on the task of putting on a pair of them knows the thought process behind it.

  • first how uncomfortable they can be, especially if you purchased the wrong ones or you selected based on the package recommendation to know that their suggestion is rarely correct; then you put the first pair on and run them, I always buy at least 2 pair because I know this is what will happen to me.
  •  Once said pantyhose are up there is the “Maybe I should skip the panties…” thought, because who needs an extra line.
  • repeat process
  • Admire shape in mirror and instantly feel the top roll down – immediately self-criticize  “geesh I’m a fat ass” while inspecting package suggestion  – my clothes are a 14 but my hose are a Q2 – that makes me feel awesome
  • decide maybe hose aren’t needed and take them off, put on pants and be done with it

My mother raised me with the notion of a skirt or dress shorter than ankle length should have hose under it, it’s professional and appropriate for many situations. I had such an event this week and I went through this process, at work none the less so the option to change into pants was not available.

However, I had a most unusual and unexpected experience. I slid the hose up and into place and when I pulled my dress down, there wasn’t a line, they didn’t roll down. I finally fit into them, they way I think they are supposed to be worn. My dress slid right over them and I couldn’t “see” where they were.

No self criticism for me today, a little pat on the back and off to my event I went…where did I go keep reading and I will post it soon.

How to eat?

I have never really contemplated how I eat so much as what I eat. I understand the principles of proper nutrition, plenty of water, fruits, veggies, lean protein, whole grains and real fats. I regularly utilize measuring cups, spoons and before it broke a scale, I pay attention to portion size recommendations and try to shop smart. Our recent venture into clean eating has led me to appreciate the freshness and simplicity of food.


But never have I given much thought to How I eat…so today while I had little to do I was reading articles about eating and weight loss, and came across some tips that actually enhance the experience of a meal.


Eating as a family – at the table, engaging in conversation? People do this? We manage one night a week, between our work schedules and our commute often the adults are not hungry and the kids are, so we feed them and then we eat later. There are two reasons why this isn’t aiding in our success to be a healthier family; we miss out on the shared experience of mealtimes and we adults end up eating late and in front of the TV.


Tasting each bite – chewing slowly and savoring the product of cooking. I am guilty of this, when I do eat I feel like it’s a race, I eat quickly and often standing in the kitchen or parked in front of television. How does this defeat me? I don’t enjoy what I have made = I am not satisfied. Then I am tempted to eat more, when in reality I am not “hungry” I am not “satiated”.


Cooking with a loved one – exploring new recipes together. When we were first married we cooked all the time, now one of us is tending to the kids, cutting grass, folding laundry, out for a run, or just not in the mood. When we share we foster not only our nutritional needs, but our relationship.


Listening to bodily cues – realize the difference between satisfied and stuffed. I was not a forced member of the clean your plate club as a child, we had to eat a bite of everything and then when everyone was done we could be excused. For some reason as an adult I have this need to finish what I have served myself; being on Weight Watchers I have a point target for the day and often I have more than half of my points left for home eating. I feel like I have to finish what’s there – and then I am miserable. Why do I do this? I think in the coming weeks I will try to evenly spread out my points through the day unless I know we are  having a higher point dinner, then I won’t feel like I have to eat everything.


There are so many facets to a healthy lifestyle and each tip I learn is one step closer to my goal; to reaching a point where I don’t battle my demons with eating.


Personal Goal Met!!!

I didn’t think that I was even close to slipping back into these notorious “hot-ass” jeans just yet, I had it as my 65#’s lost reward to myself  I only tried them on because my one pair I do have that fits are fading fast, I’ve been wearing them since before I had Piper and they are soft and fit for about 20 minutes out of the dryer. I wanted to gauge how close I was to them fitting if it was worth spending money, even at a second hand store on a new pair. I was worried that my legs wouldn’t fit into them.


As I slid them off the hangar and over my first foot, I fully anticipated them to stop abruptly at my calves, the one body part I cannot seem to reshape at all. To my surprise they slid over, and up my thighs and the button fit perfectly into it’s little hole. I didn’t have to lay down on the bed or anything! ha-ha-ha


I know they aren’t a perfect fit -yet, if I sat in them they might bust, but they are on and that means I am close. It also means I won’t spend anything on something new!


So milestone met, money save, success rewarded – motivation? hell yes – I have several other things in my closet that have to be close to wearable too, just a matter of more pounds, inches, miles, sweat, measuring, planning and living!!!




Biggest Loser – Halfway through

Well The Biggest Loser at work has reached week 6 – I finally had a decent loss for there and have reached 10# loss according to their records.


At the outset I had a goal of 3# a week which I knew was crazy, but I am not unhappy with 10# in 6 weeks. What I am more pleased with is the inches I have been able to trim – I have two more weeks and then I will remeasure.


The leader as of last week has had amazing success, and I know that I am out of the running for anything but getting back my entry fee (possibly as I may be switching jobs if the odds are in my favor). I am still focused on reaching my personal goal weight and breaking through that zero over the weekend really felt like things are back on track.


I am hoping this weekend to hit my 30# milestone ….


Adventures into Clean Eating

What is clean eating?



 You’ve heard it in the news and magazines but what is it really?

Essentially it’s eating foods that had a mother or came from nature, in it’s simplest, least processed form. 

It does involve some planning, however anyone who is actively trying to lose weight, be healthy, save money or all of the above already devotes some time daily toward meal-planning and shopping lists.

The guidelines are fairly simple after reading several popular blogs/websites this is what I have learned:

1) eat non processed foods (skip the boxed foods)

2) eat 6 small meals a day, this keeps our body from feeling hungry, lessening the urge to binge, and encouraging our metabolism to keep running

3) no soda or alcohol (ok I can give up the soda, but my occasional beer will have to stay – moderation in all things)

4) no skipping meals, especially breakfast – I am very guilty of this

5) avoid saturated and trans fats, hydrogenated oils and high fructose corn syrup

6) eat fresh fruits and vegetables

After making this list I thought about my shopping trip this past Saturday, I had not made the intentional commitment to trying this until it was discussed Sunday but my cart contained the following:

watermelon, cantaloupe, blackberries, strawberries, peaches, nectarines, bananas, clementines, grapes, potatoes, kale, zucchini, squash, onions, cucumbers, carrots, tomatoes,  chicken, eggs, milk, yogurt, cheese, whole grain bread, brown rice, Kashi cereal (kids love it too), oats

Then all the other stuff we needed…. so I pretty much already shop smart, its just a few other little changes that I will implement over time.

My thought here is multi-fold:

– my weight loss has been slow, steady but slow perhaps this little change will give me a boost

– my health and the health of my family, the freshness can be nothing but good for us all

– my budget will be what suffers, for anyone knows eating well is expensive – a garden next summer is a MUST

– we already are somewhat committed to this just by my participation in Weight Watchers, the points system allows you to eat anything but suggests healthier alternatives when possible

– I love learning something new and trying new things, so here is a great opportunity to do just that


So on this new adventure we go!



54 days…1 stick

Well I weighed myself yesterday morning and I was convinced I had another loss for TBL at work…not sure what happened but the loss was only  0.2# (that’s one stick of butter). Needless to say I was not happy, I didn’t expect a big loss I have posted good numbers for me each week so I knew a small one was soon to come, and I should be happy that it wasn’t a gain – but still I was angry. I have worked hard this week – been faithful to my tracker and activity.Keeping my eye on the prize I have to remind myself that I have done well. A loss is a loss, it wasn’t a gain.


I did weigh myself this morning and was very happy with what I saw number wise, so I just have to go on that momentum and know that I will have another little loss on Sunday.










WW: Indulgence and Choices

Definition of indulgence (n)


 [ in dúljənss ]

  1. yielding to somebody’s wish: the act of gratifying or yielding to a wish
  2. something allowed as luxury: something that somebody lets himself or herself or another person have, especially a luxury
  3. tolerant attitude: a kind or tolerant attitude toward somebody

Synonyms: luxuryextravagancepleasuretreat


Yesterday when I went to my meeting and the word “Indulgence” was used and then we were asked if that evokes a positive or negative response. A few of the members said “positive” a few “negative”, I say “both”.

Of course I get asked why….

To me indulgence is taking part in something that makes you feel good, it’s how you manage the indulgence.

I could eat an entire pint of Coconut Almond Chip Ice Cream, easily, in the past that’s exactly what I would do, all us fat kids know a pint is one serving; but this recovering fat-kid knows better. I can allow myself to indulge in a serving, I can “backload” (adding in a planned indulgence to my tracker so that I don’t lose sight of my daily point allowance) to my day, and then my indulgence is permissible. I don’t have to think of ice cream, donuts, chips, or drinks out with friends, as bad, or stressful – I just have to plan for it…and what if I don’t pre-plan indulgence? What if I never allow indulgence?

I remember back in ’03 when I had my best success at weight loss, I simply told myself trigger foods were off limits. If I didn’t allow it, if I didn’t buy it, if it wasn’t there then I wouldn’t have to fight the temptation. How is that setting myself up for life long success? It’s not.

I remember the day I fell. It was cold out, maybe February or early March. I was 6-8 weeks into lifetime status. I had slept at my parents house and there is a bakery near by. As I headed to work I could smell the donuts frying, I remember the thought process, asking myself when was the last time I had a doughnut? I couldn’t remember. I walked my then size 6 self into the bakery and got one. One chocolate, cake doughnut covered in glaze, so sticky because it was still a little warm and milk, when was the last time I drank milk? Probably 6 months or more. I sat in the car and I swear I swallowed it whole, the milk in one gulp….and immediately I felt guilty and sick; and that led to a day of food disaster. Not every day that followed was one full of bad choices, but they increased, I stopped tracking, vending machines at my second job became a habit….and so I ended up back at weight watchers after all this time again, fighting the same demons, but this time I posses the knowledge of success and failure. I understand that depravity isn’t realistic, and that self-discipline is the only means by which to overcome.

So when I hear indulgence, I say yes, indulge, sensibly…and sometimes not. Everyday is an opportunity to succeed, living life is the most important part, existence alone is empty. So grab a pint, share it with a friend, be proud of the baby steps, count the baby steps and the ice cream – life is good.


Training for a 10K

After reaching my goal of completing the 5K I knew I needed something else between now and the Tough Mudder in October. I spent some time looking for events and came upon the Susan B. Komen Race for the Cure on September 14. I have previously completed the 5K walk for this cause, I know the course goes through downtown Cincinnati, and the Newport/Covington area. I think it’s the perfect opportunity.

The next step was finding a training schedule – it’s only 10 weeks away. Finding this information was easy but all the plans slated for 12 weeks, with 4-6 weeks of pre-training (my goodness a bit redundant right?) however, the “pre-training” involved being a totally beginner, I am a beginner but I don’t need to start at 30-60 sec intervals(how awesome it feels to be able to say that). I have created a plan that helps me grow in my endurance in the time I have, leading up to the weeks before are runs from 2.5 miles to 7 miles, coincidentally my goal for the Mudder was 8-10 so I will be ready for that as well.

When I spoke with my main athletic supporter I conveyed that some of this training I cannot do on my lunch hour, so I will have to spend some of my evenings and weekends devoted to this challenge – he is on board with me and has promised to be there when I cross the finish line this time!

70 days of work ahead and I will be one year older by the time it comes – my goal is to finish in under an hour and forty-five minutes.

So let’s lace ’em up and head on out day 1 is today 3 miles at lunch.

Give a little snap to the my athletic supporter as he took his tenny-bops (as he calls them) to work today so he can walk on his lunch…ripple in effect.


20 Trips Later

                                                                     Bust  was 44″ now 42.5″  

Rear was 47″ now 44.5″

Waist was 42″ now 36.5″

Arms were 17″ now 15″

Thigh was 29.5″ now 25.25″

Calves 20″ – 19.75″ 

Pants was 14/16 now 12/14

Shirt was XL now L

Total measurable loss 16.25″ and 25#

Miles ran: 46.51

This month has been difficult, my loss has not been in pounds. I had a big gain of almost 10 after the Warrior dash in the beginning of June and it’s been a tough road back to my 10% loss weight of 211, but I made it back finally. I promised myself that I would measure because sometimes loss isn’t in pounds but inches, and thus the case for me. A little more off my waist, chest and finally a little off my catcher’s calves. 


Biggest achievement of the month has been the number of miles I have logged and my dedication to keep moving. I have slowly become addicted, anyone who talks to me can testify I’ll tell ya all about it 🙂 I feel like something is missing if I skip a day. Yesterday I did my first 4 mile run and I was pleased with just shy of 54 minutes. 


Fourth of July 5K

I know that a 5K is not a huge event for many people, but for me this was the true test to myself – could I actually run the distance, there was no one else pushing me to do this, just me wanting to prove I could do it. I prepared myself to leave and was just about to slip out the door when a certain little Miss said she wanted to come to, I would have loved for my whole family to come, but it was raining and well I knew they didn’t really want to – my momma was coming and my Weight Watchers family would be there as well; we pulled her well worn fourth of July dress out of the dryer and put her hair into piggies with blue bows per her request and slipped out into the grey morning. Picking up my momma en route.

Once at the park, I slipped on my oh so comfy shoes and plugged up my music, I was ready. I chose to stay at the back not wanting to be in the heat of serious competitors, and groups of walkers. I crossed the start line at 7:35 am, Blurred Lines was on and I started up a slight incline. I repeated to myself  to keep a pace I knew I could maintain for a while, to not go out to fast as I tend to most days leaving me exhausted the last half mile, I never run the 3.14 miles straight at home I usually have a few walks of 60 steps (that’s as many as I allow myself to take), past a park where I once hit a home run out of, the school were I went as a child, past streets where I knew countless people, the fire house, R.C. Hinsdale where I did practicum work in college, and then finally turn toward Freedom park, at the top of this hill I took 60 steps, a sip of water and continued on. Run keeper told me I had hit 1.5 miles in 17 minutes and change, I was ahead of the pace I set for myself, to finish in 39 or less minutes. I knew at that point if I just kept up what I was doing I would in fact make my self imposed goal. I heard the Sunday Funday group cheer as I past them beyond that I don’t remember seeing the landmarks on my way back, my eyes focused on the double yellow line and the sound of my own exhale, wiping the rain from my eyes with my soaked shirt, “…just up one more hill…” and left into the park, the 3 mile mark and I was at just over 37 minutes, I know I

can run a quarter mile in less than 3 minutes, I put all the energy I had left in me, I had to do it in less than 2, and then I could feel the emotion building up in me, I almost started to choke, then I saw my little lady, standing right there, she was waving a little, she gets shy – I smiled at her and  I pulled my phone from my shirt, I had to stop it when I crossed. My foot hit the mat, I heard the beep, I pushed stop…. 39:08 I call it meeting my goal.  I pulled the chip from my right shoe and handed to the lady and walked past the finish area, tears streaming down my face.


 I did it.


I wasn’t the fastest, but I also wasn’t the slowest. I didn’t win, or post a land speed record, but I did something I never dreamed I could do.


Official Results:

786 A F #124 36 F 41:31(from the official start) 39:12(from when I crossed the starting line) 12:39 (pace)  11/22 ATNA 413/488 F


So what’s next?


Komen Race for the Cure 9/14/13

10 weeks …better get running.

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