WW: Indulgence and Choices

Definition of indulgence (n)

in·dul·gence

 [ in dúljənss ]

  1. yielding to somebody’s wish: the act of gratifying or yielding to a wish
  2. something allowed as luxury: something that somebody lets himself or herself or another person have, especially a luxury
  3. tolerant attitude: a kind or tolerant attitude toward somebody

Synonyms: luxuryextravagancepleasuretreat

 

Yesterday when I went to my meeting and the word “Indulgence” was used and then we were asked if that evokes a positive or negative response. A few of the members said “positive” a few “negative”, I say “both”.

Of course I get asked why….

To me indulgence is taking part in something that makes you feel good, it’s how you manage the indulgence.

I could eat an entire pint of Coconut Almond Chip Ice Cream, easily, in the past that’s exactly what I would do, all us fat kids know a pint is one serving; but this recovering fat-kid knows better. I can allow myself to indulge in a serving, I can “backload” (adding in a planned indulgence to my tracker so that I don’t lose sight of my daily point allowance) to my day, and then my indulgence is permissible. I don’t have to think of ice cream, donuts, chips, or drinks out with friends, as bad, or stressful – I just have to plan for it…and what if I don’t pre-plan indulgence? What if I never allow indulgence?

I remember back in ’03 when I had my best success at weight loss, I simply told myself trigger foods were off limits. If I didn’t allow it, if I didn’t buy it, if it wasn’t there then I wouldn’t have to fight the temptation. How is that setting myself up for life long success? It’s not.

I remember the day I fell. It was cold out, maybe February or early March. I was 6-8 weeks into lifetime status. I had slept at my parents house and there is a bakery near by. As I headed to work I could smell the donuts frying, I remember the thought process, asking myself when was the last time I had a doughnut? I couldn’t remember. I walked my then size 6 self into the bakery and got one. One chocolate, cake doughnut covered in glaze, so sticky because it was still a little warm and milk, when was the last time I drank milk? Probably 6 months or more. I sat in the car and I swear I swallowed it whole, the milk in one gulp….and immediately I felt guilty and sick; and that led to a day of food disaster. Not every day that followed was one full of bad choices, but they increased, I stopped tracking, vending machines at my second job became a habit….and so I ended up back at weight watchers after all this time again, fighting the same demons, but this time I posses the knowledge of success and failure. I understand that depravity isn’t realistic, and that self-discipline is the only means by which to overcome.

So when I hear indulgence, I say yes, indulge, sensibly…and sometimes not. Everyday is an opportunity to succeed, living life is the most important part, existence alone is empty. So grab a pint, share it with a friend, be proud of the baby steps, count the baby steps and the ice cream – life is good.

 

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