The Art of Starting Over

I think I have mastered this.

I get hooked on something and go full throttle, which generally leads to some quick success. Then I take it back a notch, comfortable with where I am at and slowly I creep back to where I started. This scenario is one I have repeated again and again, but this time has been different; I haven’t let myself get that far back that I am faced with a total do-over.

It’s no secret that Weight Watchers and I have had a love hate relationship, when I follow the program, go to the meetings, have a positive leader/meeting group, a place where I feel like I belong I do very well; when one of those elements is missing I cheat, I play “skinny-fat”, I manipulate the points, I take 20 points a donut breakfast and eat tons of fruit (now 0 points which is so misleading) and veggies, to only gorge myself later because I am starving. Did I learn anything other than how to work the system? How about fasting Friday and Saturday to have a total cheat day after weigh in? Does any of this lead to a healthy relationship with food? NO!!!!! It only reinforces my bad habits.  I won’t say that Weight Watchers doesn’t work, I will say for me after being there now 4-5 times there is little left for me to take from it, they re-invent the plan, however the ability to maneuver it, for me, is just a matter of time.

I have been talking a lot with a friend who has slowly been moving from the WW points system back to calories. All those “zero” point fruits we had been eating, because I know myself I was having at least 5-6 a day, do in fact have calories, one woman in my Sunday meeting once said she knew she gained because she added grapes, and more times than not I heard someone say I no longer have to hate my 2 point banana…guess what it was smarter to count those points, it’s more accurate. (Don’t hate, if it ain’t broke don’t fix it but I was broke I needed fixin’)

So based on a suggestion, I downloaded the “My Fitness Pal” ap Saturday. Entered in all my information, honestly (yeah all 213# of me), and began tallying everything that passed my lips, increasing my water intake, making more solid choices because calories don’t lie. I chose an aggressive plan, 2# loss a week, I get just over 1300 calories a day, and can earn more if I workout (huge bonus Run keeper will link to this program and adds my running right to my daily diary). It’s been an eye-opening few days. I have had to make smarter choices to make my calories count as best I can, actually cooking dinners, not just making some rice and saying the heck with it.

I am not done with Weight Watchers, I am still a huge supporter and would recommend,  I plan on using it in conjunction with it until I feel strong enough to do this alone, because at this blog’s inception the goal was for my own personal accountability to be enough; for me to be the driving force behind my relationship with food, fitness and family.

I also joined the half-marathon training plan the Run-keeper offers, when October comes I will be ready, my feet are feeling much better (check out https://www.strengthtape.com/ it’s really given me the support I need); combining that with Jillian Michaels Revoloution and yoga via you-tube this is shaping up to be a good year for me.

I am looking forward with a very positive attitude, and a confidence that I really can meet my goals.

I’d like to give a huge CONGRATULATIONS to my hubby who has on his own lost over 30# since Christmas, I am hoping one day we can run a 5K together!

 

 

 

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Renewed Dedication

I stepped on my scale today.   210.4 again

I slipped into running shoes today. 1.53 miles

My goal is attainable.

 

I have been nothing but excuses since October came to a close.

I have let one moment dominate my pursuance of my goal …and that I have to let go of, not everything is made to last.

It’s time to let that all go.

No more excuses, no more wasted time, no more setbacks blamed on outside forces.

I have to be responsible for my progress.

I want this.

I want to be below 200.

I want to reach my goal of 170-175.

I want to look at my reflection and see the woman, that I feel I am inside.

I sound like a child, want, want, want.

But it’s for my children I want this, to live a long healthy life to be with them.

To teach them to have a healthy relationship with food.

To spare them the ridicule of being called “fat” or told they have pretty faces, they do but they are mine, I am biased.

To help them achieve all that they can, on all fronts.

So today on still injured feet, I took that step toward goal recommital (yeah that’s a made up me word).

I have made good progress, I won’t deny myself the pride in the success that I have had; and the knowledge that I can do it is fuel to push me to meet my goal.

So next Sunday morning, weigh in again, take pictures and measurements, workout as much as I can this week, eat smart…measure success!!!

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