So close and a hard good-bye.

photo 1

So close…..

This past weekend I did the 10th annual Friendship City 5K  in Erlanger, KY. It’s near where I grew up and has a very low registration fee, it was a nice run last year and I was so encouraged when I finished third that I had a little hope that I could actually improve enough to possibly win this year.

I came close, I placed 2nd in my age division and was the 11th female overall.

August 24,  2014:  Screenshot - 8_25_2014 , 9_08_53 AM

Compared to 8/25/2013:   Screenshot - 8_25_2014 , 9_12_26 AM

 

The field was small,  but I still went out there,  with a very painful pulled right hamstring, and had a personal best for a 5K  (Garmin time was 33:08). I have learned a few things about how I run in the last year that really helped me make progress and maybe, just maybe next year I will place first.

My girls participated in the kids fun run, in a skirt and dress respectively, again and enjoyed themselves. Each received a participation medal and asked why I didn’t get one, I was stumped; last year they recognized two places in each division, admittedly I was a little disappointed that this year they only did the first place, and the pessimist in me to quote Ricky Bobby “2nd place is the first loser”. I don’t feel like a loser, running for me is never about “winning” it’s about meeting my personal expectation and I did, I finished better than last year and better than the 4th of July 5K just 6 weeks ago.

… and a hard good-bye.

photo 2

Comfort items are difficult to part with. My youngest daughter has her bee-bee (blanket) she is my Linus, there is nothing bee-bee can’t fix. These jeans are that to me. I have had them since June 2009, I know who remembers when they got a pair of jeans? I think because this was the first  pair after I had my oldest daughter. My body changed a lot, and I was carrying 40#’s of baby weight, (roughly 240#’s)I was depressed. I found them in the men’s section of a GAP outlet, who knows what size they really were. They fit and looked ok, that was all I cared about. In the five years since their acquisition I have had a second baby, I have lost and gained 40# to lose the 40# again (for good this time). Yesterday after my shower I grabbed them as I often do on the weekend (I can’t wear them out of the house anymore they are so worn and holy), right from the dryer. They sat for a moment on my hips and then crept below them. I pulled them up. Halfway down the hall they fell again. I pulled them up. I bent over to pick up socks and well I could have been a plumber for a minute. I sighed and realized it was time. My comfort jeans, my fat girl pants, had to go.

I hung them up to take one last photo and tonight I will cut them up for ties for my tomato plants and pitch what it left.

This isn’t the first item I have had to toss and happily it won’t be the last, but they are probably the only item that I feel sadness about,it’s a burial to my fatter body. It’s progression forward and weight loss is marketed to be a physical change, but the change is far more emotional than anything.

Good-bye fat pants, good-bye fatter body, good-bye fat thinking mentality.

 

 

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4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. weight2lose2013
    Aug 25, 2014 @ 14:22:32

    Congrats on your finish! 2nd place?!? That’s fantastic. Congrats on the shredding of your attire as well. I think it’s a fantastic ceremony to bid farewell to your lost weight. 🙂

    Reply

  2. Bobby-C
    Aug 25, 2014 @ 17:32:51

    Congrats on your parting with your comfort pants. It is a great feeling to have to get new clothes because your old ones don’t fit because they are TOO BIG!

    Reply

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