54 days…1 stick

Well I weighed myself yesterday morning and I was convinced I had another loss for TBL at work…not sure what happened but the loss was only  0.2# (that’s one stick of butter). Needless to say I was not happy, I didn’t expect a big loss I have posted good numbers for me each week so I knew a small one was soon to come, and I should be happy that it wasn’t a gain – but still I was angry. I have worked hard this week – been faithful to my tracker and activity.Keeping my eye on the prize I have to remind myself that I have done well. A loss is a loss, it wasn’t a gain.


I did weigh myself this morning and was very happy with what I saw number wise, so I just have to go on that momentum and know that I will have another little loss on Sunday.










WW: Indulgence and Choices

Definition of indulgence (n)


 [ in dúljənss ]

  1. yielding to somebody’s wish: the act of gratifying or yielding to a wish
  2. something allowed as luxury: something that somebody lets himself or herself or another person have, especially a luxury
  3. tolerant attitude: a kind or tolerant attitude toward somebody

Synonyms: luxuryextravagancepleasuretreat


Yesterday when I went to my meeting and the word “Indulgence” was used and then we were asked if that evokes a positive or negative response. A few of the members said “positive” a few “negative”, I say “both”.

Of course I get asked why….

To me indulgence is taking part in something that makes you feel good, it’s how you manage the indulgence.

I could eat an entire pint of Coconut Almond Chip Ice Cream, easily, in the past that’s exactly what I would do, all us fat kids know a pint is one serving; but this recovering fat-kid knows better. I can allow myself to indulge in a serving, I can “backload” (adding in a planned indulgence to my tracker so that I don’t lose sight of my daily point allowance) to my day, and then my indulgence is permissible. I don’t have to think of ice cream, donuts, chips, or drinks out with friends, as bad, or stressful – I just have to plan for it…and what if I don’t pre-plan indulgence? What if I never allow indulgence?

I remember back in ’03 when I had my best success at weight loss, I simply told myself trigger foods were off limits. If I didn’t allow it, if I didn’t buy it, if it wasn’t there then I wouldn’t have to fight the temptation. How is that setting myself up for life long success? It’s not.

I remember the day I fell. It was cold out, maybe February or early March. I was 6-8 weeks into lifetime status. I had slept at my parents house and there is a bakery near by. As I headed to work I could smell the donuts frying, I remember the thought process, asking myself when was the last time I had a doughnut? I couldn’t remember. I walked my then size 6 self into the bakery and got one. One chocolate, cake doughnut covered in glaze, so sticky because it was still a little warm and milk, when was the last time I drank milk? Probably 6 months or more. I sat in the car and I swear I swallowed it whole, the milk in one gulp….and immediately I felt guilty and sick; and that led to a day of food disaster. Not every day that followed was one full of bad choices, but they increased, I stopped tracking, vending machines at my second job became a habit….and so I ended up back at weight watchers after all this time again, fighting the same demons, but this time I posses the knowledge of success and failure. I understand that depravity isn’t realistic, and that self-discipline is the only means by which to overcome.

So when I hear indulgence, I say yes, indulge, sensibly…and sometimes not. Everyday is an opportunity to succeed, living life is the most important part, existence alone is empty. So grab a pint, share it with a friend, be proud of the baby steps, count the baby steps and the ice cream – life is good.


20 Trips Later

                                                                     Bust  was 44″ now 42.5″  

Rear was 47″ now 44.5″

Waist was 42″ now 36.5″

Arms were 17″ now 15″

Thigh was 29.5″ now 25.25″

Calves 20″ – 19.75″ 

Pants was 14/16 now 12/14

Shirt was XL now L

Total measurable loss 16.25″ and 25#

Miles ran: 46.51

This month has been difficult, my loss has not been in pounds. I had a big gain of almost 10 after the Warrior dash in the beginning of June and it’s been a tough road back to my 10% loss weight of 211, but I made it back finally. I promised myself that I would measure because sometimes loss isn’t in pounds but inches, and thus the case for me. A little more off my waist, chest and finally a little off my catcher’s calves. 


Biggest achievement of the month has been the number of miles I have logged and my dedication to keep moving. I have slowly become addicted, anyone who talks to me can testify I’ll tell ya all about it 🙂 I feel like something is missing if I skip a day. Yesterday I did my first 4 mile run and I was pleased with just shy of 54 minutes. 


Fourth of July 5K

I know that a 5K is not a huge event for many people, but for me this was the true test to myself – could I actually run the distance, there was no one else pushing me to do this, just me wanting to prove I could do it. I prepared myself to leave and was just about to slip out the door when a certain little Miss said she wanted to come to, I would have loved for my whole family to come, but it was raining and well I knew they didn’t really want to – my momma was coming and my Weight Watchers family would be there as well; we pulled her well worn fourth of July dress out of the dryer and put her hair into piggies with blue bows per her request and slipped out into the grey morning. Picking up my momma en route.

Once at the park, I slipped on my oh so comfy shoes and plugged up my music, I was ready. I chose to stay at the back not wanting to be in the heat of serious competitors, and groups of walkers. I crossed the start line at 7:35 am, Blurred Lines was on and I started up a slight incline. I repeated to myself  to keep a pace I knew I could maintain for a while, to not go out to fast as I tend to most days leaving me exhausted the last half mile, I never run the 3.14 miles straight at home I usually have a few walks of 60 steps (that’s as many as I allow myself to take), past a park where I once hit a home run out of, the school were I went as a child, past streets where I knew countless people, the fire house, R.C. Hinsdale where I did practicum work in college, and then finally turn toward Freedom park, at the top of this hill I took 60 steps, a sip of water and continued on. Run keeper told me I had hit 1.5 miles in 17 minutes and change, I was ahead of the pace I set for myself, to finish in 39 or less minutes. I knew at that point if I just kept up what I was doing I would in fact make my self imposed goal. I heard the Sunday Funday group cheer as I past them beyond that I don’t remember seeing the landmarks on my way back, my eyes focused on the double yellow line and the sound of my own exhale, wiping the rain from my eyes with my soaked shirt, “…just up one more hill…” and left into the park, the 3 mile mark and I was at just over 37 minutes, I know I

can run a quarter mile in less than 3 minutes, I put all the energy I had left in me, I had to do it in less than 2, and then I could feel the emotion building up in me, I almost started to choke, then I saw my little lady, standing right there, she was waving a little, she gets shy – I smiled at her and  I pulled my phone from my shirt, I had to stop it when I crossed. My foot hit the mat, I heard the beep, I pushed stop…. 39:08 I call it meeting my goal.  I pulled the chip from my right shoe and handed to the lady and walked past the finish area, tears streaming down my face.


 I did it.


I wasn’t the fastest, but I also wasn’t the slowest. I didn’t win, or post a land speed record, but I did something I never dreamed I could do.


Official Results:

786 A F #124 36 F 41:31(from the official start) 39:12(from when I crossed the starting line) 12:39 (pace)  11/22 ATNA 413/488 F


So what’s next?


Komen Race for the Cure 9/14/13

10 weeks …better get running.


Confessions of the inner fat kid


This picture was taken from of one of the break rooms at work.


This is a huge temptation – daily. It’s right near the ladies room and near where my new desk will be. Held within these cases are possibilities to my own undoing, I am proud to say the last thing I purchased from here was a pack of Extra gum and a Diet Coke, but the Butterfinger #147 calls my name, and those Cheetos would go oh so well with a Cherry Coke…I really do love food, I think about it a lot.


My journey here is to simply have a healthy relationship with food – beware machines I am stronger than you are!


6 months of steady loss

6 months of steady loss…. I have really struggled with seeing the scale waver around 210, up a little, down a little, and* I know I have had loss just in inches (which I am equally pleased with) but this

week, finally broke through 210, now sitting at 207.4 a total loss of 28.6. It really feels like it’s taking forever but I keep reminding myself I’d rather be the tortoise than the hare, slow consistent weight loss is healthy lasting loss, and plateau’s are normal. I felt amazing when I saw the scale on Sunday morning I wasn’t expecting anything much at all, the past 6-8 weeks have been just that.

So I had to analyze what did I do different this week to drop 2.8#?

FOOD: I had two days of higher point eating. I don’t think I had been eating enough, since I wasn’t tracking I don’t know for sure, but many days I didn’t feel satisfied, yet I wasn’t hungry so I just opted to not eat instead of eat because I should – and 80% of what I ate was classified as clean.

EXERCISE: I had 3 days off at the beginning of my week because I was sick, and then when I did get back out the first day was grueling – I have upped my miles to no less than 3 per day, my duration is longer, I am working harder, my goal for myself is to complete my daily run without walking and I am successful more times than not. I will admit that first attempt at 5 miles was hard, but I walked very little of it.

Hopefully the plateau for now is behind me and I can experience a little loss – the challenge at work is into week 6 and for that I am about 3.5% loss I am near the top 10 but I want to win one week at least and stay in that top 10 for a few weeks. I have to be more diligent about what I eat and make sure it is the right foods for me.



75 Days

There comes a bit of empowerment when there is great reward to be gained, and I am not speaking of the rewards offered throughout and at the conclusion of this event at work. The health benefits, the emotional boost, the motivation that will carry me to reach my personal goals.


Over the next 75 days I will:

track every morsel that I consume.

log activity everyday.

walk a minimum of 5,000 steps a day.

lose weight.

feel better.

live the life I preach more faithfully.

run my first 5K.

complete a second Warrior Dash.

be more prepared for the Mudder.


At the beginning of the first session we weighed in and were give pedometers if needed. Then groups of people just formed together, in my group was one person who works in my same department that was comforting to know someone. The representatives from the YMCA had stations set up and it reminded me of the days of Karate Team Training – some free weights, jumping jacks, burpees, lunges, wall sits, more lunges, a little running, shuffle steps, push-ups and suicides…


Assessing the group as far as where I “fit” in physically, I am not the youngest or oldest, nor the lightest or heaviest, I am not the most in shape and most definitely not the least in shape. I sweat, I pushed myself, I made my time count. This will be a true test of how bad I want to accomplish something, and I have set myself up for nothing less than success, and this success depends on my dedication, self-discipline, and a whole lotta sweat!




The Biggest Loser Challenge

This is right up my alley! It starts this coming Wednesday a

nd I just got an email that they are adding a second set of classes on Monday’s as well – so 22 classes in all! They are also adding Weight Watchers memberships (wahoo I have a head start).


I am eager for the competition, I cannot lie. I have been stuck losing and gaining the same 5# over the past few weeks. I needed this bad!!!




In addition to these prizes if a participant loses 10% of his/her body weight, walks 5,000 steps a day (they will provide a pedometer) and attend 75% of the classes they will refund the fee paid for joining the challenge?!! Come on…what’s not to want to do!


The grand prize was announced today $1,000.00, 2nd place $500.00 and 3rd place TBD.


My personal goals are:

7,500 steps a day

attend the original set of classes listed above (and as many of the Monday sessions as the family can let me)

30# that’s more than 10% but I think it’s what it will take to be the Biggest Winner.

TO WIN!!!!


In addition to this we at home are adopting the VB6 plan – vegan before dinner. Making vegetables, fruits, whole grains the bulk of our day and then a healthy portion of lean meats/poultry/fish for dinner.  I have read into this plan and it seems to be successful for men and I am hoping that this helps my man at home jump start him onto my personal health and wellness initiative.


So weigh in for me will now be WW on Sunday’s and TBL on Wednesday’s with a goal of 3# a week for the next 12 weeks.


16 trips to the scale later

Sixteen trips to the scale later and here is the progress….

Bust  was 44″ now 43″

Rear was 47″ now 44.5″

Waist was 42″ now 37″

Arms were 17″ now 15″

Thigh was 29.5″ now 25.75″

Calves 20″ – no change

Pants were 14/16 now 12/14

Shirt was XL now L

Total measurable loss 14.5″ and 25#



What other changes have I been able to implement or maintain…

Binge eating is minimal. I can’t say I don’t do it, but it’s far less often and I am able to stop it easier.

Scale obsession, I still get on the scale but I am better at not letting what I see ruin my day, but allow it to motivate me.

Triumph over the vending machine – I realized I am not allowed to have money at work, it calls my name. Bonus, I have more money for things at home.

Lunch out once a week, Scott and I work close by one another now, so I save points so he and I get at least one meal alone each week, it’s a double treat since I don’t have to prepare anything and he and I get some time to talk.

Running – I have to admit I love it! I run 3-4 days a week at work on my lunch break. I feel so energized when I get back to my desk and it curbs my want for “crap”. I come back ready for the rest of the day and know that I have the entire evening for family, that my exercise doesn’t have to be a compromise of the time I want to spend with them or a decision of one over the other.

Real life…this by far has been the biggest change I have been able to accept. I have gone to weigh in’s knowing I was going to gain, but also accepting that not every week is going to be a loss,  and it’s ok, it doesn’t define me unless I allow it to defeat me.

Upcoming goals…

Edgewood 5K on the Fourth of July

Warrior Dash Versailles, KY August 10th

Tough Mudder  Maysville, KY October 19th  (131 days away)

39# more loss by the Mudder – which will put me at my personal goal weight

Running is better than therapy


oday’s Lunchtime run

I have never considered myself a runner, I have always hated it, anyone who played ball with me knows my theory, “hit the ball long and hard so you don’t have to run fast or slide”.  But when my elliptical broke, I joined a gym and that solved the what do I do to work out quandary; I loved it went 6 days a week and was logging some miles on the treadmill and elliptical really enjoying the “me time”, then I lost my job (something for which I am very thankful now for happening) and could no longer afford the membership.

I stopped everything for two weeks.

NEVER would I have thought that within 7 weeks of that first run outside would I be someone who would run, at lunch break, miles – more than one!  My body doesn’t protest as much as it used to, I’m still running intervals but I’m up to 5 minutes with only 1 minute of walking in between. I am listening to myself breathe, my feet hit the pavement, the sun or rain as the case is some days beating down on me, and I let everything go…my tension, my usually uncontrollable thoughts, my anger or frustration, for that hour I give into my body and just go.

I am not ever going to be the fastest, but I won’t be the slowest, I will more than likely never be the first to finish, but I won’t be the last. This week I have my first event – The Warrior Dash http://www.warriordash.com  in Ohio – this event raises money for St. Jude, a charity my parents have donated to for years. I am joining some experienced Dash runners and am very excited to see them and share the event.


This is another anchor I have for myself – every Monday I put up a note stating my goal for the week, how much loss I would like to see and anything else. The seven push-pins are for each 10# I want to lose, the clips are a pound each. I put my key chain on pound #23 and the weight is my 25# loss token.


This week my goal is to run at least 15 miles, and to break through a zero – inching my way to being less than 200# in over 5 years. I was just about this time 2008 I crept over 200 while expecting my little Miss #1.


 25#’s less of me – that is 100 sticks of butter

Here’s some updated photos of me. I am starting to see the loss, especially in my face, it would be really nice to be able to choose where the weight loss happens, but I know eventually it will even out.

25# down

50# to go

Goal date: Sept 22,2013

Previous Older Entries Next Newer Entries

Follow Progress not Perfection on WordPress.com
Follow Progress not Perfection on WordPress.com