Reuniting with Writing & Running

Well lookie here, I had lost all hope of being able to log in to this blog again, but I decided yesterday during a really looooooooooong meeting to check and BAZINGA! it worked.  So since my last entry what have I been doing…hummmmmm…not much. I finally decided to see an orthopedist regarding my ankle and guess what? After an MRI the results show nothing is wrong, which is frustrating because it hurt like hell. I went to 2 PT sessions and then received the bill for said MRI and knew I couldn’t continue on at the cost I would incur; and then I got to thinking since when did I need someone to tell me what I needed to do to reach a goal, and isn’t running pain free a goal?

So I took the exercises the therapist gave me and I have been doing them at my desk, I have cautiously been running intervals and last weekend I was able to complete, running the entire distance, the Redlegs 5K. It may not sound that impressive, and my time was far from what I want, but the fact is I was able to run it pain free, and be pain free the next day. Memorial Day weekend brings the Run N’ Slug which I will not officially be participating in, but I will go and run the 4 mile leg, I have done the 8 mile run the past two years, I know I am not ready for 8 but soon I will be and I feel 4 is very doable.

This down time has been very hard on me not only physically but emotionally, I have fed and fed the depression and as a result I am 10# heavier and everything is soft. I am seeking the motivation to get my feet moving again, I am tempted to sign up for a run to force me back out on a regular schedule….maybe I will.

 

TBC……

So close and a hard good-bye.

photo 1

So close…..

This past weekend I did the 10th annual Friendship City 5K  in Erlanger, KY. It’s near where I grew up and has a very low registration fee, it was a nice run last year and I was so encouraged when I finished third that I had a little hope that I could actually improve enough to possibly win this year.

I came close, I placed 2nd in my age division and was the 11th female overall.

August 24,  2014:  Screenshot - 8_25_2014 , 9_08_53 AM

Compared to 8/25/2013:   Screenshot - 8_25_2014 , 9_12_26 AM

 

The field was small,  but I still went out there,  with a very painful pulled right hamstring, and had a personal best for a 5K  (Garmin time was 33:08). I have learned a few things about how I run in the last year that really helped me make progress and maybe, just maybe next year I will place first.

My girls participated in the kids fun run, in a skirt and dress respectively, again and enjoyed themselves. Each received a participation medal and asked why I didn’t get one, I was stumped; last year they recognized two places in each division, admittedly I was a little disappointed that this year they only did the first place, and the pessimist in me to quote Ricky Bobby “2nd place is the first loser”. I don’t feel like a loser, running for me is never about “winning” it’s about meeting my personal expectation and I did, I finished better than last year and better than the 4th of July 5K just 6 weeks ago.

… and a hard good-bye.

photo 2

Comfort items are difficult to part with. My youngest daughter has her bee-bee (blanket) she is my Linus, there is nothing bee-bee can’t fix. These jeans are that to me. I have had them since June 2009, I know who remembers when they got a pair of jeans? I think because this was the first  pair after I had my oldest daughter. My body changed a lot, and I was carrying 40#’s of baby weight, (roughly 240#’s)I was depressed. I found them in the men’s section of a GAP outlet, who knows what size they really were. They fit and looked ok, that was all I cared about. In the five years since their acquisition I have had a second baby, I have lost and gained 40# to lose the 40# again (for good this time). Yesterday after my shower I grabbed them as I often do on the weekend (I can’t wear them out of the house anymore they are so worn and holy), right from the dryer. They sat for a moment on my hips and then crept below them. I pulled them up. Halfway down the hall they fell again. I pulled them up. I bent over to pick up socks and well I could have been a plumber for a minute. I sighed and realized it was time. My comfort jeans, my fat girl pants, had to go.

I hung them up to take one last photo and tonight I will cut them up for ties for my tomato plants and pitch what it left.

This isn’t the first item I have had to toss and happily it won’t be the last, but they are probably the only item that I feel sadness about,it’s a burial to my fatter body. It’s progression forward and weight loss is marketed to be a physical change, but the change is far more emotional than anything.

Good-bye fat pants, good-bye fatter body, good-bye fat thinking mentality.

 

 

Rocky Mountain High

Last week I went to Colorado. It was an amazing trip! Upon landing I was awestruck by the landscape, it was raining but the mountains were breathtaking. My sister picked my up from the airport and as we talked and headed to her home, we witnessed not one but two double rainbows!

photoFriday morning we took a hike up Mt. Cuttler,  I’ve never been hiking before and everyone warned me about the altitude; the one mile trek up was challenging but I really enjoyed it. When we caphoto 1me to the summit all I could think of was a yoga class being held there, so why not have a few poses! The trail run down was also an entirely new experience, but was something I want to look into back home.

 

Saturday morning we decided to attend a local yoga studio where I took my first hot fusion class. An hour-long sweat fest. I impressed myself by being able to keep up with the fast paced instructor and proudly landed my first crow.  At class end I was saturated to say the least and eager to attend a similar class again!

In thephoto (1) evening we ran the Color Fest 5K. We were all sorts of color crazy! This was a more family focused event, so it was a struggle to actually run, and the course was short, all-in-all it was a fun time!

 

The last day of my mommy get-a-way I took a 4 mile run solo. I just took off and went until Garmin told me 2 miles had passed. I was able to take in parts of Colorado Springs, see the people on the streets in the early morning, breath in the dry air. It felt good to get out and go.

It was the first time in forever I can remember not toeing a scale for 3 days in a row, and I wasn’t upset with a 3# gain – I did indulge in some seriously amazing food.

Now that I am back home I am focused ahead to the events that I have signed up for:

8/24:Friendship City 5K (10th annual)     2013: 36:31

10/11: Queen Bee Half Marathon (1st ever)

11/15: Honor Half Marathon (1st ever)

11/27: Thanksgiving Day 10K (105th annual) 2013:1:13:37

After that I will focus on maintenance through the winter, cross training, yoga, and healthy eating habits.

 

 

 

 

July Progress

January 2013

It’s been awhile since I did a progress report so here goes:

Bust   44″ now 40.5″   -3.5″
Rear 47″ now 42″         -5″
Waist  42″ now 35.75″    -6.25″
Arms  17″ now 14.75″       -2.25″
Thigh   29.5″ now 24.25″    -5.25″
Calves  20″ now 18.75″     -1.25″
BMI  37   now 31.5
Total Measurable Losss   23.5″ and 35#’s
Total miles for July: 87.5
Miles ran: 247 /700 for 2014
WEIGHT photoLOSS: While the progress has been incredibly slow at the beginning of July I was at 212#’s and I am now sitting at 201#, I will be breaking through into Onderland before the week ends. I gave it some thought and it’s been 6 years since my daily triple didn’t begin with a 2. I feel very confident that this time I am making weight loss for life a lifestyle, not just another temporary visit to a smaller size. I know this last month dropping 11 pounds is not typical, but it’s a good kick start to more steady loss over the coming months.
RUNNING:  Facebook had this challenge group to run 100 miles for the month, I joined mostly to be motivated on days where I wanted to rest. I pushed the last two weeks of the month, down to the last few days and woke up on Wednesday the 30th with 12 miles to go and two hamstring cramps. I knew right then and there I wasn’t going to make 100 miles. I let my body rest, 3 days before heading back out. I was exhausted. Yesterday I did my second 10 miler ever and improved my time by 9 minutes. It was tough but I feel in control of it and my preparation for two half marathons in the fall is right on schedule.
OTHER PEOPLE IN MY LIFE: The husband is has now lost a total of 74#’s. He looks like a totally new man. We have had to replace all of his shorts and  we have been able to switch to regular 2XL shirts, probably XLT if I could find them, he stands 6’5″  the tall is important. My sister and her son have taken up the C25K program and they both seem to be enjoying themselves. My sister-in-law told me last night that she wants to start running again and has a lofty goal of completing a Tough Mudder – I may be ready for that next year myself.
MENTAL HEALTH: I have put the counseling to the side, like my previous attempts at talking to a therapist all they confirm is the things I already know. I have come to the conclusion that the only answer is to tell myself to stop when I start over-thinking and over analyzing, distracting myself with something else seems to help.  I allow myself a few minutes a day to think about those topics that seem to be my constant worry and then put it to the side as best I can.
In the month of August I have 2 -5K events, one in Colorado on the 16th and the other here in KY on the 24th. I am hoping to set a PR for the event on the 24th. I will celebrate one more trip around the sun, thankful for each and everyday that I have been given, trying to get the most out of each of those days, loving life with my family, friends, and running shoes.

One Year of Timed Events

Happy Fourth of July…a few days late.

This past Friday I celebrated one year of timed events.  My mother asked me if I had a goal, of cours20140705-075059-28259492.jpge I did to improve over my time from last year.

I know I went out too fast, my perfectly arranged playlist was all ready to keep me . My mother showed up, that was a surprise as she is recovering from a rather intense shoulder surgery,  she gave me a hug and wished me luck.

First song: Lose Yourself, a mile in I knew I had gone out too fast, 10:10.  The  first place finisher passed me at 15 minutes; at the three mile mark I saw my sister, brother-in-law, niece and nephew – it was just .14 to the finish, last song Titanium.  When I stopped my watch I was very pleased to see that I had improved over my last years time:

2013: 786/875     (414/489 women)                                     39:08

2014: 578/780    (275/419 women) (9/27 Athena)       33:46

My improvement: 5:22 faster

 

20140705-075100-28260965.jpg

My Family: Myself, Scott, Piper and Ailey

 

When the adult run was finished they had a kids fun run and my nephew has shown interest in running,  my sister is doing a C25K with him, he made a good showing and I love that he is wanting to try this. They are planning to do the Color Run in Cincinnati in August, I can’t wait to see how they enjoy it!

As he and I walked hand and hand back to where we all parked he asked if I had won. I had to think for a minute and then I explained to him that I will more than likely never win an event, and I don’t run to win, I do it for my health, to build stronger muscles, to help with my weight, to give me more energy and to challenge myself.

In hindsight I did win.  In the last year I have lost 30#, I have lost inches off my body, my legs aren’t much smaller but they are leaner, I worked through an injury that made me push back a goal, I’ve learned to listen to my body, and to look up instead of down, to lead with my heart, to drink while running (that’s a challenge all in itself), I’ve made the conscious choice to make running part of me, I own every mile I log; and while I will never be first, I know what it feels like to be last, I know what it feels like to cry with pride and frustration, I know what it feels like to cross the finish line knowing I put all of me out there and get every bit back.

 

A huge shout out to the husband (see him up there) he has lost 60# this year!

 

One Weekend, Two Events

This weekend was a busy one….

 

Saturday: I did the Color Run in Cincinnati. I highly recommend this as a good first event, family event, or gathering of friends who want to get a little exercise and have some fun. Standing in the chute waiting for the wave to begin the DJ humored the group and color was flying. Pink, blue, yellow, purple the pavement stained with it, the air thick with residue. The weather was optimal, cool and sunny; the course was laid out in a zig-zag pattern near Paul Brown Staduim and the first dose of color came within a half mile. In less than thirty minutes I toed the finish line, this was not a officially timed event but runkeeper says I completed the 2.76 miles (it was advertised as a 5K which is 3.14) in 29:06 my personal goal was the 3.14 in less than 36 minutes, I most certainly would have met that goal with ease.

Sunday: I joined this event due to the large participation of the Sunday Fundayers at WW in Erlanger. It’s modest $10 entry fee made it difficult to say no. This 5K course took me through old parts of Erlanger beginning and ending at the Kenton County Library. My mother, Uncle Ken, and littles were also present to push and encourage me. Crossing the finish line in 35:44 – next year I will win my division, I was only 2 minutes behind the second place finisher and 3 behind the winner – I know I can accomplish this. The girls were able to participate in the kids fun run around the parking lot and they had fun being chased by mommy and their Ms. Kris; both are quite proud of their participation medals.

 

How these events measure my progress: In seven weeks I have cut a little more than three minutes off my 5K pace. When I finished the event on July 4th I knew then that I could do anything I set my mind to. My bib and timer for the Komen 10K showed up today and I am revising my personal goal from 1:45 to 1:15. In this last month I have also decided to set a long term goal – I am going to run a full marathon by the time I am 40, I have 3 years to meet this goal.

 

Katy Perry: ROAR   http://youtu.be/e9SeJIgWRPk

 

I got the eye of the tiger, a fighter, dancing through the fire

Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me ROAR

Louder, louder than a lion

Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me ROAR

Now I’m floating like a butterfly 

Stinging like a bee I earned my stripes

I went from zero to my own hero

Fourth of July 5K

I know that a 5K is not a huge event for many people, but for me this was the true test to myself – could I actually run the distance, there was no one else pushing me to do this, just me wanting to prove I could do it. I prepared myself to leave and was just about to slip out the door when a certain little Miss said she wanted to come to, I would have loved for my whole family to come, but it was raining and well I knew they didn’t really want to – my momma was coming and my Weight Watchers family would be there as well; we pulled her well worn fourth of July dress out of the dryer and put her hair into piggies with blue bows per her request and slipped out into the grey morning. Picking up my momma en route.

Once at the park, I slipped on my oh so comfy shoes and plugged up my music, I was ready. I chose to stay at the back not wanting to be in the heat of serious competitors, and groups of walkers. I crossed the start line at 7:35 am, Blurred Lines was on and I started up a slight incline. I repeated to myself  to keep a pace I knew I could maintain for a while, to not go out to fast as I tend to most days leaving me exhausted the last half mile, I never run the 3.14 miles straight at home I usually have a few walks of 60 steps (that’s as many as I allow myself to take), past a park where I once hit a home run out of, the school were I went as a child, past streets where I knew countless people, the fire house, R.C. Hinsdale where I did practicum work in college, and then finally turn toward Freedom park, at the top of this hill I took 60 steps, a sip of water and continued on. Run keeper told me I had hit 1.5 miles in 17 minutes and change, I was ahead of the pace I set for myself, to finish in 39 or less minutes. I knew at that point if I just kept up what I was doing I would in fact make my self imposed goal. I heard the Sunday Funday group cheer as I past them beyond that I don’t remember seeing the landmarks on my way back, my eyes focused on the double yellow line and the sound of my own exhale, wiping the rain from my eyes with my soaked shirt, “…just up one more hill…” and left into the park, the 3 mile mark and I was at just over 37 minutes, I know I

can run a quarter mile in less than 3 minutes, I put all the energy I had left in me, I had to do it in less than 2, and then I could feel the emotion building up in me, I almost started to choke, then I saw my little lady, standing right there, she was waving a little, she gets shy – I smiled at her and  I pulled my phone from my shirt, I had to stop it when I crossed. My foot hit the mat, I heard the beep, I pushed stop…. 39:08 I call it meeting my goal.  I pulled the chip from my right shoe and handed to the lady and walked past the finish area, tears streaming down my face.

 

 I did it.

 

I wasn’t the fastest, but I also wasn’t the slowest. I didn’t win, or post a land speed record, but I did something I never dreamed I could do.

 

Official Results:

786 A F #124 36 F 41:31(from the official start) 39:12(from when I crossed the starting line) 12:39 (pace)  11/22 ATNA 413/488 F

 

So what’s next?

 

Komen Race for the Cure 9/14/13

10 weeks …better get running.

http://www.komencincinnati.org/komen-race-for-the-cure/

The Warrior Dash – June 1, 2013

The Warrior Dash is the world’s largest obstacle race series. The proceeds go to St. Jude, …since that time I had been working out at home, kind of, watching what I ate kind of, I had dedication…kind of. http://www.warriordash.com/

 Once I made that commitment I had something to drive me. I wanted to be able to finish the race and that meant having the endurance for not just running a course but a course covered in mud and obstacles. That is the moment I knew I had better get my butt in gear.

 

 I downloaded a couch to 5K ap for my phone. I used it for a few weeks and then realized I could run more than the program dictated, so I made up my own, Runkeeper allows you to customize how far or how long you want to do a specific task. I started with 4 minutes of running and 90 seconds of walking, then I increased the run times and decreased the walking times; I am very proud that earlier this week I ran two straight miles, I know my dad is shaking his head in confusion as to how me, “flash” is now running regularly. I am eager to see what the Dash on August 10th brings for me, my goal is to finish in under an hour, I know that if I continue to work hard this is an attainable goal. Long term my goal is to run a half marathon next spring.

 

Falling off and getting back on

a phrase we commonly use when we talk to our children about success and failure when attempting something new and scary. Something I tell myself time and time again.

My goal for the holiday season was very realistic, don’t gain anything.  

I learned when I was in Weight Watchers a few years ago about budgeting points/calories for holiday celebrations, to portion out a plate to include all the food groups, to make a plan and stick to it, and like many moments in life that somehow taints the joy of coming together. When I lived by the Points holiday or celebratory events which center around an indulgent meal meant, don’t eat all day, sometimes the day before as well, work out twice a day for the week before and then be such a crabby, awful bitch that no one wants to sit beside you because they can see you fighting with yourself over having butter on a roll or not, or maybe just one bite of that roll, how many points is it, and all they want to say to you is, “Shut the hell up and eat the freaking roll, slather on the butter it’s _____________________(insert holiday or event).

Weight loss taken too seriously can be just as detrimental as not taking it serious enough.

Yes I had dinner, dessert, bites of all the things I like most; dad’s spaghetti, mom in laws green beans, pumpkin and apple pie, but I reminded myself to have bites, small slices, a few forks full vs. a mound. I only took leftovers of turkey and spaghetti, and face it if you’ve had it or made it no one makes it like dad and it’s only once maybe twice a year, I took one container and I ate all of it for breakfast the day after (it was roughly two cups.)

I was not faithful to my elliptical,  in all truthfulness I worked 75-80 hours a week since Thanksgiving and most nights I wasn’t going to be until 11 or later, I had to sleep to stay energized for the day ahead. But with work weeks returning to normal now, and Scott’s work schedule back to his normal, the girls being back in school, I can once again give this quest the attention it deserves.

My plan is to attempt a 5K in May and the Warrior Dash in June. My goal for both is just to finish, to prove to myself that I can in fact do it.

I will weigh in on Monday and resume my weekly self checks.

So, this year in light of these reflections, this success of not gaining during the holidays and a stint of stress at work, I invoked my newly crowned word of 2013, balance. Eating and celebrations, for someone trying to slim down and live a healthy life, needs balance.

So hello 2013, I embrace you with conviction and dedication to making myself as healthy as I can, within the confines of the life of a working mother, wife, daughter, and friend.

 

http://thefeldhouse.blogspot.com/2012/12/why-i-dont-make-resolutions.html

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